just like heaven

This post actually has nothing to do with the song at all. I was just listening to it on the way home and it made me feel really happy/creative and I felt like writing. We all need a little heaven in our lives sometimes....not to sound like a "I can't believe it's not butter!" commercial or anything.

For some reason I keep feeling this pull out into the world. There's no part of humanity I don't want to understand, and maybe through understanding I can heal. I'm not the type to live my life with lofty ambitions and goals and make others feel kinda crappy for not doing the same. You know those kinds of people, the ones who are always supporting some cause or another and could talk your ear off about it for much longer than you can even try and listen, even if you wanted to. The kind of person, who however well meaning can get a little tiring to be around because really, you need to go to work to pay the bills and put food on the table and hopefully enjoy life a little and all that crap. I'm not that person, I'm human. This doesn't mean I don't believe in all the same things, because I do, sometimes more than other times. Last week I stayed home and watched reality TV because my bank account was too low to be outside. I feel like being home all the time stifles my drive, my ambition to be a better person. You can always be a better person, even if you don't stand on street corners and solicit donations to UNICEF every day.
I can't stay at home too long before I feel like I'm going totally nuts and the streets literally pull me out on to them before I can even help it. Today was one of those days. I was at home for half an hour, and then I was literally among people all day.
The ins and outs of my day isn't my point either though. Every once in a while I get a flurry of ambition and inspiration, and today it came in the form of Invictus. I feel like it totally aligned with the involuntary desire I have to be among people and learning and moving forward. I'm not the next nelson mandela, although right now I feel like I want to be...but maybe I could be the next captain of a rugby team that believed in something bigger than just himself and his team. The ripple effect, you know? Our problems aren't just in South Africa or India or Northern Ireland....they're right here at home. Lead by example...maybe by being a strong person and dealing with everything that comes my way I can influence the life of one other person, may it be a friend or a stranger. In the end it doesn't cost you anything to be a good person. It might seem tough at the time to do the right thing, whether its giving $5 to the homeless man across the street or smiling at a stranger, even if inside you're hurting but all energy in this universe is finite, and no matter what, the good you put out will come back to you. Not that we should strive to be better for selfish reasons, but its good motivation nonetheless.
Nelson Mandela was genius for supporting the springbox (sp?) rugby team. He's right, we are never going to move forward and progress if we turn around and take away the rights of those who took away ours. Karma always rights things- although the afrikaans were defeated by Mandela's party at first (punishment), his success ended up making the world a better place and uniting a country that had been divided for so long, thanks to NOT getting rid of the rugby team supported by white people that had imprisoned blacks for many years and hated by every black person in South Africa. For example, just because your friend stole your boyfriend doesn't mean you have to turn around and steal hers. She'll turn right back and steal your next one again, and fighting never ceases.

If I can help just a small classroom full of people understand this maybe we can get somewhere.